I turn 40 years old in 40 days. In the pre-pandemic reality, I was planning an afternoon family friendly dance party. It was going to be at Buntport Theater, and I was going to make it a fundraiser for them. That plan’s been scrapped. And not without hesitation. I feel guilty about not raising money as I’d originally said I would. But since the world pressed the shift key, I am navigating new terrain. Right now I’m trying to tap into what feels right, in this moment.
I began reading Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, Ph,D this week.Starting with the inside cover (there is an amazing quadrant of feelings chart that I definitely will use and have already started sharing with my two year old), I’ve discovered information and explanations that are the type of realizations that fall into my category of “Now that I know this, my thinking has to change.”
My huge aha moment yesterday was that when I am doing something creative like writing an essay or planning a special event, my energy increases and my emotions fall into the high energy/high pleasantness quadrant. SIGNIFICANTLY. Just reading the section on emotions and creativity, I felt my brain shift from the quadrant that includes emotions such as sad, tired, fatigued, drained, spent, desolate, sullen, glum, to the quadrant that includes emotions like joyful, hopeful, focused, lively, excited, motivated, inspired, and optimistic.
SO. I created a creativity challenge for myself. In the 40 days leading up to when I turn
40, I’m going to be intentional about valuing my creativity, a trait that friends and family have continuously told me I possess, but I’ve managed to typically downplay. In this COVID-19 existence of safer at home social distancing, I’m going to approach ordinary days/decisions/activities with intention to rethink about them in creative ways.
I have no idea what’s going to happen. What I’m wondering is, if I practice creativity more, will a creativity feedback loop form, making me feel more pleasant and high energy feelings than I’ve been feeling lately? We shall see. Just gonna go with it, as I’ve learned to do in this time of uncertainty.
Doo-Wop Bibimbap 